You need support but your friends don’t see the reality you’re experiencing, their support dwindles as they just don’t get it.
You need help from professionals yet your reality doesn’t translate to theirs, they see part of the story but not the rest.
Your child’s hurt hurts you in ways nobody understands, your child feels shame, the hurt they cause hurts them.
Time passes, your child’s hurt is harder to carry, it’s sharper to touch, and starts being in the lens of others, the questions start, why, what has happened.
There is limited sight on the footprints at the start of the journey but the footprints in the now are very much in focus for all.
Professionals stride towards, judgement in hand and mind, expressed and delivered.
You start to share the child’s story, their footprints and the hurt that never left, and the judgement and sharpness of the stride deepens.
It’s not in their lens, it’s only in their blind spot, not having been explored in their world, and with limited view on the reality of the reality that hurt children hurt.
The sharpness of everyone’s lens remains unfocused, but yet pointed, you now hold their sharpness, your child’s hurt and increased pain.
The blame, the hurt, too much to carry, the world starts to spin, so many questions, so much to hold.
The lens focused straight on you, it’s your hurt that hurts, it’s your reality that is hidden, the child’s full story lost in sight.
But empathy for their title held against you, adopted, you should have done better, in care, you should have done more.
When hurt hurts, when does the world look safe, we see it in our victims of hurt in life, in terror of adult abuse, of crime, of war, we can cry for them, and make space for their pain.
When our children carry hurt, from before their words were spoken, when their hurt is in their body, their mind, and their bones, there is a blind spot, and misery.
There is no space for healing, for being seen, for recovery if possible.
The empathy misplaced, a child seen through the wrong lens, the humanity towards the ones holding their hurt, lost.
The hurt for both increases, confusion, loss, torpedoing round and round, cracks increase, it hurts too much to hold.
There is no stop, no release of any hurt, just future invisible footprints unseen.
Hurt hurts, hurt unseen increases and never releases, the direction of this never positive, yet your hands from holding the hurt won’t work the same, there is nobody to hold them up, nobody to place theirs on yours.
Lost understanding, lost love, lost.
Our child’s hurt, our hurt, all lost.
Opportunity to remove some of the pain, hurt, and loss gone.