Adoption? It is………
Unsafe. And tragic. And heart wrenching. And too difficult. And loving . And transformative.
Adoption? When you face the Family Court judge who rubber-stamped the Order for your children – siblings aged 3 and 4 only to cross paths again a decade later in the same court , same room , the same judge, to pass an Order for your eldest child to reside in a Secure Home – a ten hour round trip from us.
Why? In case of harm to and from others.
The harm and hurt had already been done in those early years.
We had begged for help. We got blamed.
Adoption? My children were never “waiting” to be adopted. They yearned for their birth parents despite the terrible neglect and abuse at the hands of the same. They continue to carry their trauma everyday. And they have “survived”. But what does that look like?
Adoption? Our eldest child is back in the care system – vulnerable, exploited, feelings stuffed down so, so tight.
Our youngest child. Same birth family home. Same violence, hunger, drugs.
BUT
Support came at the right time.
A loving foster carer who nourished and nurtured.
Many different emotionally available people – a Headteacher, a neighbour, a dinner lady, a friend.
The school where every member of staff is trauma trained and responsive – the ideal school is really real for our child.
It envelopes us as if with a soothing, warm blanket.
Adoption? It can “work”.
But too often it just doesn’t.
We are PATCH – we do this because we want to bring about the changes that are needed for my children, your children and so many others.
And we do it with Hope.